Monday, October 11, 2010

Searching Questioning Activating

I reached out to some artists recently to ask for help. They asked me to explain to them what it was I needed. I did not know how to reply. So I explained...I want to learn, I'm searching, I don't know what I'm looking for. I am confident I will know what it is when I find it.

I was happy with this answer.

At this very moment I am a writer because I am writing a blog. Words can hold so much weight. A writer? Where were you trained? What have you published? WHO ARE YOU?

I am Jen, what I do is irrelevant... it is not who I am.

I am excited... terribly fantastically excited by life, love and all the wonderful experiences that await me.

I recently attended a digital media workshop, to learn about editing film. I did learn about editing, but I learned so much more from the instructor in a single conversation. I had just commented on how I did not think I wanted to be an editor. That I had enjoyed learning about it and was happy that now I could rule it out as a career choice. He understood and suggested that even though I might not enjoy it as a career, it was fun to play around with all of the different effects in video. To this I replied "Its not really the type of thing I would do just for fun."

Later that night I thought about what types of things I would do... for fun. I had no answer. I don't do many things just for fun, I do them to serve a purpose.. to earn a living, move a project forward, develop and idea... I do next to nothing just for fun. This struck me as... not really wrong, but definitely not right.

So the next day at class, I told him. And he agreed, that did warrant some pondering, and searching. I liked this editor, Boyd Bonitzke. He was a good teacher, he got me to think about something I wasn't looking at.

Maybe the searching is over now. I know the things I want to learn and the work I want to do. I have set the goals, in all their Lucida Console glory saved to a basic notepad file in my Jenifer folder. Actually I guess I am working on one now. I had thought I was just procrastinating, but upon close inspection goal no 5. "Write Stuff" has clearly been started.